i was supposed to be in high spirits last night but...
now guilt has taken control of me...
it is really hard to accept the fact that life could be so cruel... at first, you want something, when it's presenting itself to you, hesitation hits you straight in the gut but there's nothing you can do but WANT IT SOME MORE... at the expense of something you had grown to respect...
i'm in that predicament right now...
i'm happy but i can't seem to really feel it...
maybe i just have to wait for the SHOCK to fade away... and be myself once more...
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